A white guy is walking along beach when he comes across a lamp partially
buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde
genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.

The guy makes his three wishes, and the blonde genies disappear. The next
thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion with 50 beautiful
women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor
is covered in $1,000 bills. Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it
and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They
drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him
by the neck until he's dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two
blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the
first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love
to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire... but why he
wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."

When Cardboard Men Come In Handy

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver
eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of
the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds
them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their
nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not
surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.

It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer,
clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle
yelling, 'What's going on here?'

'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly.

'Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing
here by the road?' he asks.

'Helllooooooo!!!!' says the blonde

'Those are my emergency flashers!

Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

She was a blonde.

A blond girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and
says: “Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other
girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 ! That’s
good, innit?”
“Yes darling, very good.”
“Is that because I’m blond?”
“Yes darling, it’s because you’re blond.”
Next day, the girl comes back from school and says: “Mummy, today at
school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D,
but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! That’s good, innit?”
“Yes darling, very good.”
“Is that because I ‘m blond, mummy?”
“Yes darling it’s because you’re blond.”
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: “Mummy, today we went
swimming, and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at
me!”
She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D chest at her mum. “Is that
because I’m blond, mummy?”
“No darling, that’s because you’re 28.”

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says............

It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."