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Clinton Stew

Q: What are the ingredients for the new,
improved Clinton stew?A: One wiener, one tongue, one cooked goose, lots of spilled beans and hot water.

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What Is Politics?

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?Father: Sure, son. What's the question? Son: What is politics? Father: Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me “Tony Blair.” Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her “Gordon Brown.” We take care of your needs, so we'll call you “the People.” We'll call the maid “the Working Class,” and your baby brother we can call “the Future.” Do you understand, son? Son: I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it. That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father. Son: Dad, now I think I understand what politics is. Father: Good, son! Can you explain it to me in your own words? Son: Well, dad, while Tony Blair is screwing the Working Class, Gordon Brown is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.

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Signs That The Vice President Has a Bad Heart

1. Always looks like he's pledging allegiance.
2. His cholesterol level is directly proportional to the National Debt.
3. He owns a signed copy of Ted Kennedy's "Joy of Grease."
4. He can only donate blood to people with Type Nacho Cheese.
5. After years of eating intravenously, he can make his arm burp.
6. According to his EKG, his heartbeat has the same rate as a strobe light.
7. Number one supporter is the Grim Reaper.
8. During the Persian Gulf War he arrived in Kuwait with a spoon and bib,
eagerly awaiting "Operation Dessert Storm."
9. After every press conference there's a man standing over his body
saying, "Clear!"
10. Let's face it: He's a politician.

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Q. Whats the difference between George W. ...

Q. What's the difference between George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein ?

A. It took Saddam 20 years to get that unpopular.

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Bush's Morning Run

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. George Bush was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service workers. Dubya asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box.

The little boy said, "Republicans."

The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Atta boy!"

A few weeks later Bush was jogging again, this time with Dick Cheney in tow. Bush stopped at the boy's house, winked at Dick and said, "Hey kid, what kind of pupies are in the box?"

The boy said, "Democracts"

Bush looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Republicans!"

The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."

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