Jack is one horny guy and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches
into
his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill. He walks down the street
to the
local brothel and knocks on the door. The madame opens the door and
asks
Jack what she can do for him.

'I'm really horny, but I only have $5. What can you do for me?' Jack
asks
the madam.

She looks over this fellow and tells him, 'Don't worry. We can take
care of
you. No problem.'

She leads Jack into this room where in the opposite corner is a
chicken.
Jack thinks about this a second and figures it can't be that bad. He
gives
the madam the $5 and she closes the door behind her. Jack undresses and
has
the time of his life. When he's done he can't remember when he had ever
had
such a pleasurable experience.

One week later, and horny again, Jack has saved up $10. Being a
satisfied
customer he goes back to the same madame and asks what she can do for
him
for $10.

'Well, for $10 we have a special show,' the madame replies. She leads
him
into a different room where there are several other people sitting on
benches. 'Sit back and enjoy the show, Jack,' she tells him.

Jack gives the money to the madame and takes a seat on one of the
benches.
Soon after, the lights dim and the blinds open, revealing another room
on
the other side of a two-way mirror where two women begin to undress
each
other. Jack is very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone
is
watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately.
Apparently
there is nothing they won't do to each other.

Jack once again feels like he is getting his money's worth. He turns to
the
person beside him and says, 'This is a pretty good show for ten bucks,
eh?!'

The guy turns to Jack and says, 'That's nothing... last week we saw a
guy
screw a chicken!'

George and his beautiful blond wife are having hard financial
times, so they decide that she'll become a prostitute.

She's not quite sure what to do, so George says, 'Stand in
front of that wine bar and pick up a bloke. Tell him its 50 quid.
If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner.'

She's out there five minutes when a this bloke pulls up and asks,
'How much?'

She says, its £50. He says, 'Fukc. All I've got
is £25, She says, 'Hold on.' She runs back to George and asks, 'What
can he get for 25 quid?'

George says, 'A hand job.'

She runs back and tells the bloke all he gets for twenty five quid
is a Hand job. He says ok' She gets in the car; he undoes
his zip and whips out a HUGE cock. She stares at it for a
minute, and then says, 'I'll be right back.'

She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, 'George,
can you please lend this bloke £25!?'

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.

An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman, "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..."

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love.

All of a sudden a bumblebee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina.The woman started screaming "Oh my God,help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation.The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm,tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit."

The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina.
The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina.

The husband nodded and gave his approval.The young lady said
"Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it."

So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper.After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed.

The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.

The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!"

Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.